Entraide Homework

[DouDou9455]

Alors voila on en a vaguement parler sur les topics des métiers, le forum d'entraide scolaire.
Chose promit chose due je le créer

Alors voila un DM d'anglais :

One of your friends intends to buy a computer for a professional use. You Send him an e-mail in order to convince him to buy a notebook computer.

Je le fait et je vous le met, comme sa si certain aime corriger l'anglais, ou son bilingue si il veulent regarder


Déjà le sujet ... Moi j'aurais préconisé d'acheter un PC fixe mais bon LoL

[coyote89]

Pour commencer, je pense que le sujet, c'est "in order ton convince him", pas "to cince" :p
Plus sérieusement, hésite pas, quand t'as fini tu postes

P.S : fais gaffe de pas te le faire piquer par un collègue à toi qui traînerait sur le forum

[DouDou9455]

Voila corrigé
Ok ok coyote c'est pour Jeudi dans 2 semaines

[DouDou9455]

Alors voila se que j'ai fait, pour se qui regarderont cela, n'hésitez pas a me demander si il y a quelque chose que vous ne comprenez pas, je vous comprendrez (je connais le niveau catastrophique de mon anglais )

PS : je viens d'avoir 4.5/10 au dernier que j'ai fait, celui la est fait pour s'y ajouter. Vue les notes moyenne de mes contrôle (au alentour de 9) il me faudrait avoir une note pas mal en DM, histoire d'avoir la moyenne

Hi Franck,

I am sending you this message for your computer that you want to buy. Having reflected and for many reason I think the best for you that to buy a notebook computer.

The main reason lies in the mobility, notebook is not cumbersome, so you can go everywhere with him, you have your documents always on you, which I think is crucial on your work. If you buy a desktop computer you will can not take it anywhere and you, will need a medium to store your documents, for take them with you.

Secondly that the performances. Today the notebook are much more powerful than before, certainly they are not done for play, but for write documents, or for professional utility they are very competent.

Thirdly the design, the notebook are more beautiful than the desktop, there exist of all colors, different sizes or different thickness. The design seems to be important for a machine on which you will work all the time.

The notebook is the future of the computer, soon everyone will have a notebook. I said this for you, if i will have to buy computer, i will buy notebook, now you do what you want.

Good bye

[coyote89]

Pas mal de petites erreurs, principalement les mots de liaison et les temps (futur).
Je me suis pas relu, mais quelque chose dans ce style me paraît meilleur.
Si quelqu'un se sent chaud pour corriger les erreurs que j'aurais faites ou pour améliorer le tout, let's go :)

Hi Franck,

I write to you about the computer you want to buy. To my mind, a notebook computer is the best choice, I think it will best fit your needs.

The main reason lies in the mobility. A notebook is not cumbersome, you can go everywhere with it, so you can always keep your documents with you, which I think is crucial for your work. If you buy a desktop computer you won't be able to bring it anywhere, and you'll need an external medium to store your documents, to take them with you.

Secondly, the performances. Today, notebooks are much more powerful than they used to be in the past. You probably won't be able to get some games running on it, but remember laptops are mostly optimized for size and battery power, which sometime compromises computing power. But to write documents, and to run some professional utilities, they're enough powerful.

Thirdly, the design. Notebooks are more beautiful than desktop computers, designed in many colors, different sizes and different thicknesses. It's an important point for a thing you will use every day.

Notebooks are the future of the computers, and I guess everyone will soon have his own. If I need to buy a computer, I'd buy a notebook. Now, it's up to you !

Good bye

[DouDou9455]

Pas mal de petites erreurs, principalement les mots de liaison et les temps (futur).

Merci beaucouup coyote . Ouaip j'ai encore du mal, j'ai toujours été trés très moyen, pour ne pas dire nul en langue, mais bon dans l'informatique il y en a donc il faut parler un minimum. Les 2 dernières années je m'y intéressait parce que cela me plaisait, mais cette année avec la prof que j'ai j'arrive pas. On fait des traductions ou des résumés de texte, 2h par semaines (les 2 seuls heure que j'ai) sa devient relou :(

Je me suis pas relu, mais quelque chose dans ce style me paraît meilleur.
Si quelqu'un se sent chaud pour corriger les erreurs que j'aurais faites ou pour améliorer le tout, let's go

Ouaip de toute façons c'est pour jeudi dans 2 semaines, jeudi prochain elle n'est pas la ... Yeeeeeah

[NEO HYUGA]

Hi Franck,

I'm writting you this letter for and about the computer you intend to buy. In my opinion, a notebook computer is the best choice, I think it will best fit your needs.

The main reason lies in the mobility. A notebook is not cumbersome, you can take it everywhere with you, and accordingly you can always have your documents with you, which I think is crucial for your work. If you buy a desktop computer you won't be able to bring it anywhere, and you'll need an external medium to store your documents, to take them with you.

The second point is about the performances. Today, notebooks are much more powerful than they used to be. You probably won't be able to get some games running on it, but remember labtops are mostly optimized for their size and the battery power, which sometime compromises computing power. But for writting documents, and running some professional utilities, they're quite powerful.

And the third point concerns the design. Notebooks are more beautiful than desktop computers. They're designed in many colors, sizes and thicknesses. It's an important issue for an item you will be using every day.

Notebooks are the future of the computers, and I guess everyone will soon have his own. If I need to buy a computer, I'd buy a notebook. Now, it's up to you !

Good bye

voila ma version basé sur celle de coyote ( y a moins de fautes )
les differences sont plus dans l utilisation courante de tel ou tel mot.
exemple : on ne sort pas de l anglais litteraire pour une lettre de recommandation pour un ordi :p

si j ai le temps, je te ferais un truc similaire basé sur le meme principe reprenant les arguments que tu veut mettre en valeur.

mais bon ce sera la seule et derniere fois, faut pas que ca se transforme en demande reguliere pour faire les devoirs

[DouDou9455]

Merci beaucoup

mais bon ce sera la seule et derniere fois, faut pas que ca se transforme en demande reguliere pour faire les devoirs

Aucun souci je ne suis pas comme sa du tout (et tu a tout a fait raison), la preuve est j'ai pas dit de me le faire juste si quelqu'un a le temps et l'envie de me corriger J'en connait plus d'un qui aurait fait voila mon sujet " bla bla bla bla " pouvez vous me le faire ? LoL

[CaSa]

Voici la mienne...

Hi Franck,
Don't buy this fu...ing Packard Bell, and try this one : HP notebook, certified Linux compatible
Have fun et seen you on Pidgin.
SL

(quand on peut aider, hein...)

[r@in | b0w]

Désolé CaSa, mon prénom n'est pas Franck

Bien essayé

[DouDou9455]

LooL
Hmm je peux essayer mais je sais pas si la prof va aimer

[luca79]

The main reason
Secondly
Thirdly

C'est un peu lourd comme formules.

J'aurais aussi pensé à un texte un peu plus structuré et pourquoi des arguments un peu plus originaux (moins le correcteur s'ennuiera en te lisant plus ta note sera haute).

C'est pour quel niveau ?

[NEO HYUGA]

voila ma version personnalisé, j ai un peu delirer dessus lol

Hi Buddy,

I heard from suzy you're planning to buy a desktop computer so I thought I better write you right away. Are you fuckin' crazy ?? You would better get yourself a labtop, you're a business man, think wise buddy.

Don't be silly buying some old crap fucked up desktop comp., you can take a labtop everywhere you go with all your personnal and professional data in it. It's not heavy, looks nice and above all, it gives your appointment an aura of success.

Besides, I know what you're thinking. You want to use your company network to get DSL and download tons of movies from your office. Believe me, you really should try the last IEEE. It's so fucking small you could slip it under a leather jacket without even noticing it yourself. You could go through security, they wouldn't even know.

That IEEE is brand new on the market. It has high performances for almost everything except sophisticated graphical processes. Clearly, you can forget playing new games on it but, hey, hellooo, I mean, who wants to play in an office ? I don't even think you care about this man. Better make bucks.

Its battery lasts at least a week for a regular 6 hours use per day. It has been released in white, black, silver, red, pink (puuke) and a weirdish yellow that looks quite nice. The thickness is not too bad even though it's not the thickerest right now on the market.

Well, hopefully, you've got all my points here. Now you just have to make up your mind.
Give me a buzz sometime, we could go hang out with the twins we met last week.

See ya.

Ps : one of the twins works at Best Buy, she could probably get you a discount on the notebook. Worth a try man.

[DouDou9455]

LooooL
Je vais mettre celle la
Merci Merci


Euu BTS luca

[harold]

Sayé !
Je crois qu'il a finit sa rédac' !